


Do Not Consume What's Inside an Unknown Box

by RiseAgainst522, Rounix, SpaceMacgyver, Spelter82, usernamesweretaken



Series: ZAA Crack Fix [2]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, I repeat, It’s MEANT to be bad, This is a crack fic, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25075582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiseAgainst522/pseuds/RiseAgainst522, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rounix/pseuds/Rounix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceMacgyver/pseuds/SpaceMacgyver, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spelter82/pseuds/Spelter82, https://archiveofourown.org/users/usernamesweretaken/pseuds/usernamesweretaken
Summary: Another Crack Fic from the group that brought you "Some Said the Title to This Should Be Zootopia 2", in which Pupperware, the small plastic containers that food is stored in, has a secret plot to take over the world.
Relationships: Dawn Bellwether/Chief Bogo, Judy Hopps & Nick Wilde
Series: ZAA Crack Fix [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816570
Comments: 13
Kudos: 5





	1. Where it All Went Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **usernamesweretaken's notes:** Well isn't this fun! We made another one! Like the last one, each of us took turns writing a sentence or two until we reached exactly 1000 words, and the result was exactly what none of us expected. But this time, it's going to be a multi-chapter fic so you can look forward to more of this story in the future. And on a more personal note, I do plan to return to writing UTS soon, sorry it's taken me so long. I like to think of this as me dipping my toes back into the waters of writing in a way that it's literally impossible to screw up.  
>  **SpaceMacgyver's notes** Hey there! ready for THE revelation? I'm new to the writing industry and it's my first time doing a collab (even more such an original one) it's been really fun and can't wait to be part of Chapter 2 ;)  
> (The other authors decided not to add notes and let the story speak for them instead)

The rain pattering on the roof of the bus broke the silence of the last evening of July. Nick hadn’t wanted to brave the raging storm but since he hadn’t heard from Judy in days he felt compelled to check on her. She hadn’t answered his calls or texts since she had started calling in sick to work, which was very unlike her. Looking out of the window, Nick almost regretted his decision, but as the bus screeched to a halt he knew there was no turning back. He would have to walk a whole two blocks in this awful weather before he could finally make his way into the shelter of Judy’s building.

The fox threw on his letterman and bid the driver farewell before hopping off the bus. He sprinted for the nearest awning, mindful of each step he put down on the slippery pavement. Not mindful enough, though, as Nick found himself tripping over something and falling into a massive puddle, staining his previously pristine jacket. Looking down at what had caused the fall, Nick noticed a piece of plastic laying on the sidewalk.

“Pupperware, what the heck is that doing on the sidewalk?” he grumbled to himself.

“This is a holy pupperware,” a glazed voice said from behind him. Nick jumped slightly and looked behind him, where he saw the last thing he expected to see: Judy.

“You okay, Carrots? It’s been days since I last saw you! You didn’t answer so I thought something was wrong. What the heck is that thing doing in the street?!”

The bunny looked at him as if she was phased out of this world. “It is a holy Pupperware and I’m here to collect it.”

Nick didn’t even bother asking if Judy was OK again. It was painfully clear that she wasn’t. While he thought about what to say next, the water seeping through his clothes reminded him of the puddle he was currently sitting in, so he quickly stood up.

Unfortunately for Nick, his legs had other plans, and he ended up face-first in the very puddle he was trying to escape, the pupperware floating at the edge of his sight mockingly.

He coughed and spit out whatever he had accidentally gotten into his mouth. A thought occurred to him: the water tasted pretty good.

“Soooo…” Nick resumed “why do you need to collect _them_?” 

“You underestimate the great power of Holy Pupperwares, they have magical properties!” Judy casually replied.

“Oooookay...” Nick seemed confused. He pondered a bit: what actually happened?

“Did you… eat or drink something? Or take medication?” he resumed.

Judy looked at him.

“Yes, of course I ate and drank something. This Pupperware makes wonderful bowls. And cups. And spoons, if you use them right...” she picked up the container from the puddle.

Nick felt a strange sensation in his head, the world looked strange all of a sudden. Judy took his paw “Come, let me show you the truth.”

Nick tried to fight it, he really did. He tried to slap Judy’s hand away and make her go to a doctor, but he couldn’t. He watched as his paw, seemingly with a mind of its own, took Judy’s and let her guide him along, back towards her apartment.

One foot after another, he and Judy made their way to the entrance of the building. He sucked in a deep breath as his feet brought him up the steps, noticing a strange zesty taste in the air. It was almost as if there were… limes somewhere. Of course there were no limes to be found because that would be ridiculous, but as Judy led him up the stairs Nick noticed a large cluster of frogs in the corner of the lobby.

He tried to protect his face from the green aggressors but Judy prevented him from doing it.

“It’s time to believe,” she told him.

The frogs faded away before they could touch Nick’s body and turned themselves in some sort of a green mist. He sniffed it. It smelled like limes. They kept going as the stairs faded away below them as they advanced. Once at Judy’s level, they advanced carefully.

“Watch out! THEY know where we are,” Judy warned.

She let Nick go and carefully jumped between the planks of the floor, making sure to land on some that were marked with a red cross.

“If you miss one, you’re DEAD!” She almost yelled as she had crossed the whole area.

After a few quick jumps, they arrived at her apartment. His vision was just a blurry of things like colored rectangles, strange shapes and he still had to jump to these planks.

Judy opened the door to “the shoebox” and shoved him in.

Everything was plastic. The floor was made of the lids of pupperware containers, the lights were glowing containers, the mattress appeared to be a plastic bag full of small, shredded up bits of pupperware, and the chair couldn’t even be described. The only thing that didn’t seem to be made of Pupperware was a painting of a piece of Pupperware hung over some of the pupperware wallpaper. And it all smelled like limes.

“This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen,” Nick cried, tears staining his cheeks.

“You are learning well Nick, the gods have spoken to me and told me to lead everyone on this righteous path, will you join me?”

“Of course I will,” he smiled. “I always do”

Judy smiled back. They approached the plastic window and jumped out.

They fell right into an endless maze of plastic, the walls were all pupperwares but the bottom of that giant hole couldn't be seen. As they were still falling, Judy grabbed Nick’s paw.

“Are you ready to leave our world? Our galaxy?” She smiled

“I’m more than ready.”

With joy in his heart, he took her paw, dipped down like a bird, and they both left for the unknown universe of Pupperware that lies behind that blackness.


	2. Where it went even worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nick is trapped inside an unknown dimension.

Nick suddenly woke up, feeling nothing at first. But then, his senses started coming back. This whole thing seemed like an acid trip, yet it felt so real. It was real. He knew it.

He woke up with some difficulties as he felt massive cramps all over his body as well as some illness when he leaned up. 

He looked around, it was an endless beach made up of light white sand, nothing except him though, no sign of life, of sea, of anything. He was there, alone in the middle of nowhere.

He tried to get up, but it took a good amount of work. His head was swirling, his legs shaky. He looked around, not knowing where he was, but he knew what happened last night, and he started searching for Judy.

The beach seemed endless. For all intents and purposes, it was endless. But something felt wrong. It… didn’t feel like a beach. Beaches could only be endless in two directions, right? Not four. Four directions… what was that called? A… dessert? No… desert! That was it. It was a desert. With that conundrum solved, Nick trudged on through the endless desert.

Where was he? Was it a dream? Was it a reality? Was it… an afterlife?

“No, it’s not Afterlife,” someone behind him said, making him jump in place. He turned around, only to see a flying, scantily dressed elephant.

“Welcome, Chosen One,” she said. “I’m glad that you finally came.”

“Wait, wait,” Nick said, “Shouldn't the Chosen One have some kind of powers? I don’t feel any powers.”

The elephant snapped her paws. “Now you have.”

“What is it then? I don’t feel anything.” He raised an eyebrow

“It’s time for you to choose, you just have to believe.”

Nick tried to concentrate but for some reason, all he could think about was a tank.

A huge falling noise made the ground tremble. He suddenly opened his eyes to see that the elephant wasn’t there anymore. But a tank was waiting for him.

He approached it carefully. It was an old one, and he couldn’t read what was written on, it was some foreign alphabet.

Climbing on the tower and opening the hatch, he saw it was empty. Only the “ammunition” was in there: Hundreds of pupperware boxes!

“What am I doing with them?” he screamed.

An anonymous voice from the sky answered: “Collect them and bring them to the world”

“What?”

“You have to bring the knowledge and me to the world Nick.”

“Ok” was the only thing he could answer and climbed into the driver seat.

As Nick sat there, contemplating his current situation, it all came back to him. Last night, Judy’s apartment, all of it. He remembered the joy, but… it didn’t feel right. There was something wrong about it… He knew that it had happened, but was what happened right? Or was he at the center of something sinister…?

Suddenly, a tear opened up in the sky above him, and he could see two mammals falling down through it.

It was Chief Bogo and Dawn Bellwether! “Nick, stop!” They shouted together, as the elephant looked at them in rage.

“How were you able to come here?!” The elephant yelled, and shot at them with a red beam from her laser eyes. Bogo touched the ground, creating a protective shield that deflected the deadly lasers.

“Come with us!” Dawn shouted, “We are here to save you!”

Nick stood dumbfounded. “What?”

“We are the interdimensional undercover agents,” Bogo said, “We have been fighting the evil pupperware goddess since the beginning of time.” 

“Bull!” Nick shouted angrily.

“Yes?” Bogo smirked, one eyebrow raised.

Before he had the time to answer, the fox made the tank advance, Bogo and Bellwether fell inside the compartment while the elephant fell off.

“Can you explain this to me in more detail?” Nick launched as he was pushing the tank to its max speed.

“Look!” Bogo yelled while pointing at a distant dot on the horizon, Nick looked through the driver’s window and realized they had more troubles.

Thousands of pupperware boxes, swarming in the shape of different predators approached them. Like an endless army of plastic.

“How can we fight them with just boxes?” Nick yelled

“Care, Nick, you have to care,” Dawn said, a heart appearing on her belly.

“About what!? I still don’t even know what’s going on! You’re working together, even though one of you is evil, I have no idea where Judy is, I have no idea where  _ I _ am!” Nick practically screamed. “About the only thing I do know is that nothing makes sense!”

“Welp, you better be ready for things to stay that way, because things aren’t going to start making sense anytime soon!” Bogo shouted back. “Now start caring! That elephant made you the chosen one, use it!”

Nick tried to concentrate really hard. He tried to think of something that could defeat the elephant goddess. He thought really hard, and then a powerful explosion tore the air. The tank exploded into thousands of confetti!

“I… Failed…” Nick mumbled.

“Don’t worry!” Dawn said to him, “You just got your powers, you don’t know how to control them. But we can still escape from this dimension. We could use one of the most powerful spells known to mammality - the power of friendship!”

Then, Bogo and Dawn kissed each other, Nick giving them a horrified look. Suddenly, a flash of light appeared, killing all the plastic soldiers within a mile radius.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” 

“Oh, Dawn is my girlfriend now. Sorry, but there was no better time to tell you this,” the chief said, looking at Dawn with glowing eyes.

“LITERALLY ANY OTHER TIME WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER!” Nick shouted before calming himself. “You know what? It’s fine, but if nothing makes sense and I may die in the next ten seconds then I’m gonna dance!”

All of a sudden the desert turned into a stage, artificial lights blaring down. Nick danced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Authors' Notes:**
> 
> **usernamesweretaken:** I tried to keep this at least mildly on track... I really did... But it's a crack fic, so what can you do?
> 
> **Rounix:** Ḡ̷̃o̶̾̓d̸̈́ ̴̼͑h̷̒͘a̷̅̎v̷͛ẻ̴͠ ̶̋̃m̷̅̑e̴͇̎ŕ̵̚c̴͒̓y̵̆͗ ̶̒̈ü̴͘p̴̔̌o̸͠n̴̐̓ ̶̛̅m̷̐̌y̷̆̓ ̵̄̌ě̵t̶͒͝e̵͐͋r̶̚̕n̸̓͝a̴̐̓l̷̓̚ ̶͌͐s̷̊̉o̵͐͆u̴̅͐l̸̋̓
> 
> **Spelter:** We all have to care.
> 
> **Space:** Always remember: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
> 
> Rise decided not to leave any author's notes


End file.
